Yo
Was suddenly feeling homesick after reading emails and blogs. I know I should be studying but my old procrastinaty self is emerging again, which makes me do lots of wu liao stuff and think too much about things that won't do me any good. Like being oversensitive about people ignoring me, dwelling on being lousy and being homesick and jealous of people having all the fun and comfort in funny sunny Singapore. Now that I have realised this I will start keeping myself busy and studying after this.
I really do tink talking to Paula has made me a little bit more mature. Am still child-like but perhaps not as childish as before. Something she said made me kinda 开窍 about being understanding. Hm I do like talking to mature, honest people. Maybe coz that used to be the opposite of wat I was and kinda still am but less of now. Like Ewa telling me now she does not let being alone affect her coz she knows how to sort out what is important and what is not. Den Paula making me realise that if she can kan kai on certain things I should do to. Have been talking to some other people who make me see the bigger picture instead of focusing aimlessly on the nitty gritties of life. Makes you more prone to dwelling on the negative aspects of life. Reflection is important but too much makes you abit sod like me. Take home message: 不要想太多
Let's see how good my 72变 is.
People ignore people all the time. I realise I ignore many people more than is desirable as well (as yiling will know). So it is only fair and I shouldn't be so sensitive. Everyone is entitled to forget and be lazy and hec about stuff.
Being lousy should happen to everyone and I guess it means I can only improve? That remains to be seen? (am still cynical not really converted to positie thinking yet) But still. Dwelling on it will only make it worse.
Being homesick and jealous of people enjoying the comfort of Singapore? I learn alot more here than I would have done in Singapore. Not just standard chores but doing things alone, not being dependent on cliques, TRAVELLING... That kinda thing I will never get to do in Singapore. Too comfortable and too dependent on the people who will always be there.