I suspect I feel insecure and inferior and lack confodence, contrary to what i present. I easily feel unwanted or taken for granted by people coz I'm too nice. No I;m not bragging but I reall enjoy being nice. Does that mean I like sucking up? Eww. I also often want to be indespensable and hate to feel unimportant in any corwd, group or organisation. I hate being dictated by people or having to listen to people and when people dun losten to me sometimes coz I'm so nice I'm eay to push around. Yea fine. Everyone doesn;t like that and everyone experiences their fair share of that. But one day I was thinking why sometimes I seem to get depressed for no particularly visible reason. Then I thought, hmmm, I realise I PARTIVULARLY can't stand this kinda feeling. Yea I'm a very proud person I guess... Can;t stand having to feel inferior or unwanted or unimportant and the like, sai. Ok sleepy already. Good night

Realise that was a very random post. But it was a sudden thought. Anyway, during my blog tour, I discovered many peole playing the tag game. Sad. Can't play it coz i only know two people whom i can TAG! and they both have already tried out the game. Ah well no matter. Shall play it by myself.
Write five random and weird things about yourself:
1.) I wanted to be born a boy
2.) I sleepwalk
3.) I get drunk easily and can't stop laughing for 3-5 minutes if i consume alcohol too quickly
4.) I appear cold on the surface but I like to think of childish things and be happy
5.) I often hop on the border of thinking that I'm very clever and thinking that I'm very stupid

Pass it on! Spread the joy!

Next 5 people to TAG!:
yilun
yilun
yilun
yilun
yilun.

Dear me. I really have to find more friends.

Been visiting blogs ( not that i have alot of blogs to visit, seeing as i only have a teaspoon full of friends who have blogs). Different people have different writing styles. I suppose that's how good reading material comes about. When you purely stick to your own style of writing and speaking, you always sound good. When you try to do another style the whole phrasing just sounds stunted coz the individual, though making an effort to present a different style, still can't manage to hide the original style and it ends up a mix of both. Anyway, I just saw some blogs... Mainly, they were descriptions and anecdotes of life, like a normal diary. Some 'talked' to their audience like asked them questions and kinda try to engage them in a blog conversation. Some are really endearing, not laugh-out-loud funny or anything special, but I dunno, kinda brings you into their life so you see things from their perspective and see the person's character through the blog. With everyone trying to be funny, entertaining, attention-grabbing and whatnot, sweet and ordinary may just become unique instead.
Not that I'm against humour. Ebong's blog made me laugh at the monitor again. Luckily I was in my room. But Monster saw me twisting my face in a valiant attempt not to laugh (which did not succeed) and ran over excitedly to see what i was laughing at, only to find it was in english, something she doesn't understand yet. Yea but my point is, it's funny and engaging coz that's her usual style of talking and expressing herself so it sounded very natural..

I HATE all the inconsiderate people of te world. Singaporeans are so not gracious. Fine. I'm generalising. But my daily experience taking the morning and evening transport services has not shown me otherwise as yet. So many of us are such bums when it comes to taking public transport.
1.) Pole Leaners
As far as I'm concerned, the function of the floor-to-ceiling metal poles in buses, mrts and other similar structures are for hand-grip purposes, to prevent unecessary accidents, such as falls, from occuring frequently in the mobile vehicles. Correct me if I'm wrong, but many of my fellow countrymen seem to have a different interpretation of the use of such poles. From what I observe, many seem to see each pole as an individualised height-measurement device for one to lean one's ful body-length on the entire pole to see how much of the pole one has covered. I dunno. Maybe I'm wrong in saying that Singaporeans are inconsiderate. They may just be so considerate that they are merely trying to use the entire length of cloth they don on their bodies to wipe away the fingerprints that passengers have left while holding onto the poles previously.Please,being in close contact with poles will not make you look like one. Leaning on the poles may cause unecessary accidents such as hair-pulling, when people are too polite to tell the pole leaner but just quietly hold on to an available space, at the same time, (un)intentionally grabbing a few strands of the leaner's hair together with the pole, causing all parties to be pissed. Whereas if you treat the pole with respect and use it the way it should functuon, maybe, say, five people can hold on to the pole at the same time and smile at each other during the journey instead of muttering and glaring behind the pole-leaner's back.

2.) MRT floor wipers
Yay! There's now an increase in manpower in SBS! They've hired people (volunteers, no less), to volunteer the butt of their jeans as cloth to wipe the floors of the MRT trains. Unfortunately, these volunteers, while kind enough to wipe away thedirt, shit, bubblegum etc ,which our footwear had been stained with previously and definitely left traces of on the floor, only stay put at the back doors of the MRTs. They don't move around the whole train and wipethe entire floor. Stupid people. Just stand up like everyone else instead of taking up 2 person's worth of floor space and keep your jeans clean(er) at the same time. SBS will NOT pay you for your floor-cleaning services.

3.) Rushing to get off the bus
Especially when the buses and trains are crowded, please wait till the vehicles stop before you push poeple out of the wayto get out at your stop. I dunno, maybe you haven't noticed, but whether you stand at the bus door, ready to get out 5 seconds earlier, or wait till the bus stops at your stop before you walk to the door, you still step out of the vehivle AT THE SAME TIME. If you poush the poor, packed people (who are probably getting off at the smae stop as you as well but are just more patient to wait till the bus stops before they deliberately alter other passenger's centre of gravity) before the bus stops, poeple lose their balance easily and may jolly well fall on each other like freaking dominoes. Buses and MRTs wiggle alot when they are inmotion. No such technoilogy has yet been invented for poeple to wear magnetic footwear on magnetic-floored buses and trains so that we remain stuck on the same spot no matter how the buses swerve and vibrate. Then we will be like Carrefour trolleys stuck oto the Carrefour travellators at Suntec City. Duh. Such technology will never be implemented on public transport, simply because it's not practical AT ALL. So you can stop practising for such an eventuality.

There are so many more. Liek once when this bus was full and I moved as far back as I could, which, unfortunately, was at the alighting door of the bus, this fifty-something year old man stood ready at the door (behind me coz i was blocking the door without choice) 10 seconds before he reached his stop. I was already prepared to step aside and let the alighters get off the bus as soon as the bus halted. But the stupid guy glared at me before the bus had stopped properly and on his way down had to add' "gei3 ren2 jia1 xia4 ma.!" What a bum. Throughout that entire journey from bedok interchange to my house (which is usually 7 minutes away) me and many other innocent passengers were jostled and well-trained for "Look Ma! No Hands!" (like we could really hold our balance perfectly without holding on to anything and weaving our way through to the back like, what, lavagirl, just to let those fifty-something people through). Thanks for the training. So many of us are now well-trained at balancing in case of a possible earthquake in Sunny Singapore.

I love my job! I mean, the working environment and everything is so homely.... the people there are sooo nice... I shan't go into detail now coz a certain monster is waiting for me to sleep (angel, my tenant)... But yea, just wanted to show off. You know, just for the glory of it. I got a good internship as an architect where the people teach us new things and pay us at the same time. Is that cool or what?
But it's not just the pay. I wouldn't be gushing about my internship everyday just because of generous pay (though it is generous). The everything is really just so comfortable, homely and, well, just plain nice.
Many things have happened in the past month. Need to find the proper time to sit down take a deep breath and gather my thoughts. What with so many things to keep me occupied lately (job, schoolwork, research for s paper and many, many more!) , I have yet to find a few non-sleeping hours for myself. That's why recently poeple can just find me staring off into space, lost in my own pensieve of thoughts. It's good to think about life like that every so often. I like to think and daydream. Take my time to analyse life's intelligence, stupidities and to find solutios to daily problems... I shan;t elaborate further, will come back soo if possible to continue about this. I need to organise my thoiughts first... Very rushed now...
Oh shit. Missed project runway adamngain... wah lao...
Tata. For now. And thank you to those who take time to read my entries =D

Hi audience (yiling, evon ande I)! I have no inspiration to write... so I shall type... ok, not funny. But seriously, I cannot really think of wat to blog about... Can't blog about too personal stuff, later I paiseh..
Ok! I shall blog about.... LIFE.
I have an ambition. Actually I still have childish fantasies (haha, don't you think the word 'fantasy' sounds like 'fan-the-sea'? haha, fan the sea... -_- ') about myself being a famous figure like how ordinary ppl like JJ, Sun Yan Zi, A-doo, Kelly and Wei Lian became famous. But my purposes are ridiculous. I just want to be able to snub ppl who weren't nice to me back in my younger days. Den everyone who saw me before would be wishing they were nicer to me and go like,' Oh shit! Should have gotten her signature back then when i thought she was just a tut girl! Daaammit...' Haha den can act like damn diva like that...
Ahh but those are just childish thoughts. I know alot of ppl have had them but dun dare to say out right. Nvm I've helped many ppl realise their fantasies and fulfil their dreams! Ok got abit carried away... Yea lah just wanna say that it's nice to have these fantasies once in a while...
I have more realistic amnitions too. I recently got accepted into TIP {[NOT Temasek Integrated Programme(I'm not of age I'm 16)] [TIP is Temasek Internship Programme]}. Got into archi, though I wonder how I got in. My friend told me coz it's quite 'leng men' so all of us who signed in got in. Well, I feel so consoled now.
Was half-wishing that I would fail to get into architecture for the TIP and get into vet successfully instead. I dun think I have much determination. Interview screwed up den want to give up liao. HAHA. But no lah, I really like vet also, wouldn't mind becomin a successful vet. Then all the zoos and vets in the world will know me. Then they will film me on discovery channel and do an exclusive report on me... "The Great Vet, Dr Tay Yi Lun PhD... whose childhood ambition was to become an architect or a famous singer so that could snub ppl who weren't nice to her in her childhood days........ has done it again! She has saved Sheeba, the fearsome lioness, from being eaten by Simba, the fearsome lion,,,' or something like that. Then the whole world will know me! Then I will still be able to snub ppl haha...
I really hope there will be salary, though. We were told not to expect any. So sad... But it's true lah, the experience and resume is our main purpose for going so... But getting paid would still be better, though.
Ahh... enough about me...... I shall blog about my dog. He's so cute. He just fell asleep. He always play, play, play whole day then at night about 11 sleepy liao just sleep. Today he fell asleep all over the living room with Lucy in his arms. She's the girl who weras the red dress in Peanuts, the Snoopy comic. He likes that soft toy alot. Initially he treated her like any other non-living material and bit off some of her buttons. Gradually he learned to love and care for her. Now she's te only surviving non-living possession that belongs to him that doesn't have a hole, puncture, or cotton wool spillig out of her head (besides the torn buttons). Don't you think he is a sweet dog?

I am a bloody slacker

Letter to self

Dear self,

How're yeh copin' wi' lyfe? Stil' hangin' on by a piece o' fibre eh? Aar.. Don' worreh' fibre's tough.

Yea right. Life's tough too isn't it? Heard you haven't been feeling yourself lately, so decided to drop a note of concern. Yes I understand what you're going through. I'm going through the same thing myself. You know, I've been thinking about my future (I'm sure you have too). Funnily enough, everytime I do, the saying 'Jack of all trades; mistress of none (yes, I know it's "master")' floats across my mind. After years of trying to be good at everything, we're both just lucky, average kids after all.

A shocking truth hit me like the Tsunami of December 26, 2004(sounds like primary school composition) as I ran through a list of what i may be potentially good at. The result is this:

Category Commendability Grade

1.) Sports Okay B/ A-

2.) Studies Okay C-
3.) Art Okay C
4.) Personal Relations Okay C
5.) Music Okay C
6.) Writing Used to be okay but
getting worse with C
every GP essay practice
7.) Not looking ridiculous Haha D
8.) Looking ridiculous No room for A+
improvement
9.) Acting (Comedy) Excellent A
10.) Telling lame jokes Can't get any better A

Conclusion? My career options are:

1.) Comedian
2.) Writer of joke books, knock knock books and others of the like
3.) Clown (not in Cirque De Soleil, Quidan or others of the like)
(more of Moscow circus, Bobo the Clown and others of the like)

Dear me (literally), we do seem to have run out of options, don't we? No wonder we're so...aimless. You and I are gonna have to work hard to lighten our guilt. It's terrible, I tell you. I'm such a bloodeh slacker. Yes and so are you. If we don't free ourselves from this reign of terror, we both won't be able to earn peanuts, cashew nuts and wasabi nuts in future.

Anyway, here's wishing you all the best in your future endeavours (you need it). May you succeed in everything you do (haha so like what you would see in an autograph book)!

Yours Truly,

Myself

Cheers

yay. schnoozzee finally posed quite nicely for me. i guess he's starting to like me after all.

anyway, i've finally brought myself to fill in another entry to entertain my overwhelming audience (yiling, evon and me). you see, i was motivated by adrian mole, who valiantly went ahead to write his novel Lo! On The Flat Hills of My Homeland or something like that. i have, too, decided to take a keener interest in writing (blog entries) as a last ditch attempt to improve my GP.

i've been engaging in vulgarities lately. i've been using the "s" word alot.

no harm using it again right?

gp sucks.

PW sucks

Feel like a Sponge. A wrung spoge

This week has been eventful. No actually, it hasn't. I'm so bored with life yet stressed out with it at the same time. Didn;t go to school on tuesday coz my mother didn't go as well. I was being filial so people should stop saying i pon on purpose. Actually, come to think of it, how can people pon by accident. You mean one day you skip school and say," whoops! I skipped school! I didn;t know i ponned sorry!" So yea, in a way i ponned on purpose.

Anyway, that's not the point. Was feeling bitter the whole week (partly guilt from ponning so many things: training, lessons, lectures etc). Let me recall... ok.

1. spent the whole bloody week slacking and slacking and slacking. i refused to touch ANY homework. Or rather, work in general.

2. i can memorise the programmes for various channels for different timeslots. i had to reduce myself to watching the animated version of mr bean, which is worse than the real one. i also had to watch this ridiculous show called totally spies about bimbos who are spies and always manage to save the day coz the bad guys are too stupid.

life sucks

Furball, dog, or rag?

duh. that was a dumb question. obviously it's a dog. by the way, that's my ex-dog. the 2 stumps at the end are supposed to be his legs and the spool of thread at the backside is his tail. ah.. so cute. to think that at the time this photo was taken he was already sufferin from the disease. kidney. yup dogs get that too. but to put him on drip for the rest of his life just to sustain his life at the frankly, pathetic, stage, leaving him dangling by a thread, or rather, a rubber band, bouncing back and forth between life and death, was out of the question. so he was put to sleep. was the best thing to do, though many would argue that euthenasia is just bad, bad and completely bad. the opportunity cost was just the remaining few days, or perhaps, few hours, so it was the next best alternative. would've done the same if there were to be a repeat. surprisingly, i didn't cry or express much. true, i was sad, but it seemed i was more shocked than sad so got over the thing fairly quickly. people HAVE to learn how to let go, i suppose, but i didn't want to and din know how coz it was the first time something so close was gone for good.

eek. i'm getting emotional. which leads me on to the many thoughts i have thought about in the past month or so. several talks with people who seem to know me better than i know myself have forced me to admit things about myself which i never would have done, say, last year. i believe it is precisely because i have refused to admit certain things about myself that i seem not to know myself well.

several things i have realised:
1. i am unintentionally intimidating
2. which is what i do to boost my bloody ego
3. because i tend to feel (ouch) insecure and unconfident

i surprised myself by those revelations. ah.. puberty sucks. it rudely jerks young, innocent adolences (me) awake to look at the real world and to realise how fake we are or how fake we have to be to survive in the bloddy real world. so contradictory huh? we have to be fake to survive in the real world. shouldn't it be "we have to be fake to survive in the fake world"?

i have a childish notion. and that is for everyone to return to junglehood and just join the animals in their food chain. just live to live. what an innocent and transparent life that would be. if 2 people were fighting for the same chicken, they'd just openly fight it out. no sneaky plots to trap your rival hunter, your job would just be to trap animals. isn't it cool to think about how life would be without economic struggles..

how many faces can you see? so cool all these illusion stuff. if i remember correctly, there are supposed to be 34 but i couldn't spot more than 20..

i've been wanting to come online and start typing this entry but as usual, i was procrastinating and now i have finally settled on a bad time to start. i was supposed to go shopping with yiling 3 minutes ago. but then 30 minutes ago i said i wanted to go online and so i did. so i delayed and delayed and delayed until the point where she is rushing me to go out that i just START typing in this entry
ah well, no matter. i shall carry on anyway.

i recently invented this song about me, coz you ARE supposed to talk about yourself in your blog. but no, i have decided to divert away from tradition and do something outstnding. something different. i shall sing about myself.

this song follows the cadbury song tune. aaand ah one, ah two, ah one, two, three go...

Wouldn't it be nice if the world was Yilun

Looking at yourself would be a tasty treat

Looking bad would soon become a problem

Everyone would be so tough to beat

There would be a public celebration

Everyone would come the whooole wide nation...

Wouldn't it be nice?

ok i'm done.

hi. couldn't resist adding another entry. forgive my enthusiasm. i'm new, you see. so this whole blogging thing is very exciting to me.
anyway, while bathing i was thinking about the saying "to kill 2 birds with one stone". i've always thought that there was something funny about that phrase, but i never actually took the time to sit down and delve into the depths of this mysterious phrase. anyway, this time i did. and i came up with 2 theories.

Tay's Law States That:

Theory #1:
One day, a mother bird was teaching her baby bird how to fly. so when the bird had more or less learnt how to fly, it flew. but big bird was still worried, so she flew behind her baby while it flew to keep an eye on it.
at the same time, tommy and jimmy were skipping stones across the reservoir. tommy lost. so he got angry and threw a stone as far as could (but not very high).
anyway, like i said, small bird had only more or less grasped the concepts of flying. so it was flying fairly low. and if you remember, big bird was following it, so big bird was flying low too. and if you remember some more, tommy threw the stone far, but not very high. so it was like this:

Stone--> Big bird flying--> Small bird flying

predictably, the stone hit big bird and since it had been thrown far, the tremendous force sent big bird shooting forward. big bird's beak poked into small bird, so small bird died. so one stone killed 2 birds.

Theory 2:
as we all know, migratory birds have a generous store of fats in thier body. so one day, tommy and jimmy were skipping stones across the reservoir. tommy lost. He got angry and threw a stone high (but not very far). the stone hit one fat bird and bounced off it, onto another fat bird. the initial force was not enough to kill either one of them. but since they have an abundant storage of fats, the stone was able to continue bouncing back and forth between them until they died of irritation. so one stone killed 2 birds.

makes sense huh? :)yea yea i know, no need to tell me i can be the next J.K.Rowling. my next story is going to be called "Larry Panner and the Mug of Water". ok fine, force yourself to laugh

yoyoyo... for my first entry, i shall explain my weird username. actually i'm tgo (The Great One) but then some other person had those initials or something so that name was taken. and since my class christened me "orange", why not tgorange? why onion? in that little mind of yours, you must be thinking, "ew! onions and yilun cannot have much in common! you must be kidding!" but tadaa.. surprise of surprises, tgorange was taken up as well.. ah well, guess everyone just wants to be like me. had to put a disgusting name that no one else will use.
anyway have you noticed the cool way "onion" is spelt? it's actually made up of the words ON! ON (i mean, other then the on on part, the exclamation ark looks like "i" also). so you can keep spelling out ON!ON!ON!ON!ON!ON!ON!ON!ON!ON and get many many onions. cool huh?
anyway, this entry is getting nowhere. i shall write about more interesting things next time, though that defeats the whole purpose of having a blog, cos a blog is for you to talk about yourself. to whine about how the whole world hates you and you hate them back. to complain about how you want to scream out of the window but cant, cos people will think youre mad. to wheeze about how you don't have enough time to do anything but blog. ahh, i see i've sidetracked again. anyway, this entry is nowhere. i shall write about more interesting things next time, though that defeats the whole purpose of having a blog, cos a blog is for you to talk about yourself....

hi